Saturday, March 29, 2008

NPR



Driving home from the store, I was listening to NPR. I think the show was American Weekend or Weekend America. Some of the stories on NPR can bore me beyond understanding. People tell these stories that they find so quirky but they just come off sounding pretentious. I hope I don't sound like an NPR story. Unless its a good one. But I won't hold my breath. One that they told today I could relate to. This guy was talking about how he saved all his papers (letters, essays, notes) since he was little. Birthday cards, angry letters from ex-gfs, high school newspaper articles he wrote. I guess I am the same way and I don't know if this was handed down to me or if this is just the way I am. My dad has saved most of the homework and art projects we did since we were little. There are bins of the stuff that crowd the messy basement. Packing for the PC has made me turn my room inside out, even more so than usual and I've come across all these old notebooks from high school, art I've done over the years, love letters, pictures of when my brother, sister and I were small, small gifts from past loves, cd compilations made by friends...basically just a hoard of things that bring back too many memories. It's not necessarily a negative thing but it's just a bunch of stuff that is from such a long time ago. Sometimes you wonder, how did I get from there to here? How did I overcome this? At times you think that you haven't changed at all in the past years but it's not true. Sometimes you just aren't able to verbalize how you've changed. Or you cling to certain moments in your life because you felt really happy and free then. Aaah, nostalgia.Yet, then you realize once again that everything happens for some reason. One you won't know until later. God will eventually kneel down, hold his hand up to your ear, and whisper it. But when?

Friday, March 28, 2008

Solamente un mes mas

Exactly about a month from today I will be in Washington, D.C. (probably) doing the pre-service training. It'll be nice going there since I've never been. It'll be nice to see where all the politicians do their business and at times or most of the time, don't do anything at all. Grandma and Grandpa (on Dad's side) always liked going there on vacations. I think they even went there for their honeymoon. Very political people, according to my aunt. Maybe this is where Perla gets it from. Even though I studied Global Studies, which has a lot to do with politics, they don't interest me right now. I've become very disillusioned (even though I already was). I'm sure I will come back to it, start reading the UN Wire everyday and looking at the Foreign Policy Journal, etc...but not right now. I'm more concerned about building relationships with people and finding out who I am, embracing the good in me and purging the bad things. Apparently, there are quite a few. So I need to work on myself, as do all human beings. I'll let you guys know how that turns out.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

walking along Calle 13

The past few days I've been sick, with massive headaches and dehydration. I'm not sure where it came from (drinking too much coffee or being around my sick mother). Today I feel better though. I think partially because of the walk I took yesterday in that beautiful weather. Crazy Illinois weather. It's bound to snow some time this week. I kept listening to mellow and melancholic love songs but then moved on to Calle 13 which always makes me laugh and smile. The beats and lyrics crack me up. So here I was looking crusty but with the cheesiest grin on my face because of them. Every time I hear the music, it takes me back to my first day in Costa Rica when my mister (host mother who I considered a sister) and her now ex-bf took me to a supermarket along with my little host sister. This song was on the radio and my 6 yr old sister proceeded to sing most of the song word for word. I couldn't help but smile at her singing some of the inappropriate lyrics. I kept hearing that song the rest of my time there, blazing loudly from the speakers of storefronts or cars. Its great how a song can take you back exactly to the place where you first heard it.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

the origin of nightgown

This "nickname" was given to me by a very special student that I struggled with greatly one summer. She'd ignore me, talk back, and disappear. This would really frustrate me because I knew she was such a good kid and didn't understand what was up with her. She also couldn't pronounce my last name which I never hold against anyone since the name is not very common. Instead of calling me Ms. Nightingale she decided to call me nightgown which at first I thought, "Is this scandalous? No. That would be a nightie. Its just pajamas, Anna." It was really cute that she called me that even after she learned to pronounce my name. Other students started calling me that too. The main reason I am writing this blog is for the Jr/Sr Scholars students. Not that I think that they will anxiously be wondering about my whereabouts for the next two years, although some may (Shamika; hehehehe). I don't want to leave the program that has done so much for me and the people that are a part of it that have taught me so much its hard to explain. So this is my way of not leaving. I know I'll be back, hopefully with skills and wisdom that will better help the program upon my return. I can never see myself cease being a part of something so incredible. This is also for my family and the great friends that have lasted through the years.