I'm sitting here, drinking a little bit of what was left of a bottle of some cheap Chilean wine I bought at the Paiz. I'm feeling a lot but I'm kind of just numb. It's very probable that in 6 months I will no longer have the life I've grown accoustomed. I was talking to a friend and we started talking about me leaving. I started to explain that life would be completely different. He's a 21 year old kid. And he asks me the same questions over and over again. I swear he's asked me at least 4 times where I'm from in the states. But, yeah. I can't get a grasp on it. I've been surprisingly productive since the new year started. I've surprised myself. Maybe its cus I know I have to get all this sustainability shit down before I take off and leave my kiddies. God, I'm going to miss some people. I'm going to miss walking to the bus stop and riding on the bus. Seeing their little faces with the spiked up hair or the lips loaded with lipgloss. I'm going to miss going on walks with Amiga. Drives with Profe. Everything with Profe. I'm going to miss Cristian and I whistling to get each other's to come up or down the stairs. My Bebes...and crazy Capulina. Don Hugo's cool and amazing chill self. Doing stupid things with Jane. Going into Huehue to buy school supplies. Saying Buenos dias to everyone I see. Tamilitos. Chuchitos. Tears. PS, I'm not depressed. Just getting sad.

To New Beginnings

I'm not too sure that most Guatemalans make New Year's resolutions. Who came up with the idea anyway? Saber. The internet says it was the Babylonians. Parece que los Babylonians would make resolutions to get in with the gods. If a resolution was not cumplido, it was considered bad luck so one should be wise when choosing what exactly was gonna be different about this year. Someone mentioned that Guatemalans don't make resolutions because they are much more focused on survival than changing their behavior. But since I'm American, I do have some. I was talking to Profe last night and he said the whole generic New Year's bit, although I know he is very sincere. In everything he says. Que Dios le traiga muchas bendiciones a ud y su familia. I told him, well I know it will already be different. I will more than likely be home for half of this year and Phillip will no longer be at war or in the army. Just those two things will make life drastically different than 2009. Crazy to think that 10 years have passed. I was fourteen when this decade started. A little freshmen/sophomore in love with Dan Flores, long-haired pot head. I was super skinny, and getting those fabulous grades in school. Now, PC volunteer in another country far, far away from my family. By the end of this next decade, I will more than likely be an aunt of at least two little ones from Perla and Alberto, I may even be married and have my little ones. Scary. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's focus on 2010. Resolutions for this year are:

• Be healthy (typical)
• Get a fabulous job that pays well
• Have more fun
• Love my family more, as well as my friends and students
• Be more organized
• Travel to Chile and Brazil (maybe Costa Rica)
• Start drawing again

El Chacal

El Chacal de las trompetas on Don Francisco's "Sabado Gigante" is this man (maybe woman) dressed in a black satin cloak,covering his entire body except for two holes around his eyes lined with gold. Sounding the trumpet on the singing contest when someone uber sucks at singing. Although if the person singing is a good-looking woman with tight-fitting clothes, she will probably pass on to the next round just to appease Don Francisco's machista ass. That man has always been gross. I like him cus he's Chilean but he's sleezy and he turned way too Mexican to try appeal to his audience. He even came out with a ranchero album. Seriously? Anywho...in Huehue, there is a man they call El Chacal. I know him as Jorge. That's the way he introduced himself to me. He sells newspapers. The first time I saw him was on the camioneta to my town. He gets on and starts his bit, "Les traigo Nuestro Diario..." then towards the end, he ends a joke with something like this, "el hombre que no trabajoa es porque tiene una mujer gorda que lo mantiene...pero no va a pensar mal, no gorda de peso si no de billete...gorda de billete." Then everyone giggles. Its the same joke every time. He always offers me the Prensa Libre which is the newspaper that actually has articles and not just pictures of homicides. He always says hi to me and we've talked many times when I'm waiting for the bus. He used to be an alcoholic and now attends AA meetings. Yesterday, coming home from La Reforma, San Marcos, I waited for my bus for about an hour. The buses were running sporatically. Then el Chacal walks up and sits next to me underneath the pasarela. I asked him how was New Year's Eve. He tells me, well, I was sober, so that was good. Continues telling me that this year life was kinda tough for his family but that is life. We started talking about the violence in Huehue (#1 department in the entire country for lynchings and burnings...we're #1, we're #1...). In one of the aldeas I work in, they found a dead man in his taxi. Sigh. I like talking to Jorge. He's nice. Some people have told me some bad things about him, but I think this man has just had a really hard life, partially because of the way he grew up and partially because of bad decisions. Oh, and people call him Chacal because he's really dark.